...Just Trying to Matter.

Straight away, I should mention that I never really imagined myself married with kids. I spent my 20's getting an education and the great job. Life was grand and I always had money in my pocket. Marriage and kids was great and all, just not necessarily as it applied to me. I partied with the best of them and started traveling the world. I had all the time in the world to do what I wanted. And this seemed pretty great to me. This seemed like the life to live.

So how is it that I ended up a stay at home of 3 children? Well, because Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. Or, as I believe, you can make your own plans all you want, but God will eventually take you where you (or He) needs you to be. And if you trust Him, it may not be what you always imagined, but it will be better.

So it was a somewhat broken road, that lead me straight here. Following the love that changed everything to what some might consider a small town (around 7,000): we do have a MacDonalds, a Wendy's, and 2 Tim Hortons.   Even a Giant Tiger!  How's that for someone who bought her make-up at Holt Renfrew. Of course, you know what comes after love and marriage -- and a nice little 2nd honeymoon in Mexico. I still continued to work after baby #1 arrived. Mama needs new shoes afterall! But it was getting harder and harder to wave good-bye to that little face each morning. And I was driving too fast in the evening to get home to him! (that get-out-of-jail-free card comes in handy!) By the time we were expecting #2, I knew I wasn't going back to work anytime soon.

Course I was not under any delusion that it would be easy, but I still was not prepared for how hard the days could be. The loneliness, the isolation, the desperation at times when you just have no clue what you are doing. The guilt and shame that follows and threatens to swallow you whole. There was a time I thought I was sinking. Couldn't anyone else see? These are the times that no one ever talked about, but I guess I instinctively knew that I couldn't be the only one. So I got online to check out a mommy site. Sure enough, hundreds of other mommies, working and stay at home, pounding out their trials and tribulations on keys in the quiet dark. Bonding over the joys and sorrows. It was comforting, and a huge weight lifted. I was not alone! What's more I am fully equipped by my Heavenly Father to succeed at this job! I just needed to remember to take time for me.  You have to take care of yourself, before you can take care of others.  And thus the idea of this blog was born.

You'll find a bit of everything here.  A real mixed bag of deep thoughts, humour, photography, silly faces, recipes, crafts and the odd Super Hero.   It's a peek inside our world; warts and all. A digital journal that I wanted to start for my family. Hopefully one day, the kids will contribute too. I won't shy away from controversial topics if something is on my mind. Mostly I am committed to supporting and encouraging other moms in their journey. As a Christian mom, I am also committed to sharing my faith. It is through faith and grace that I survive the darkest days. Most of all, I believe our love for others should be a reflection of God's love for us: so "no thumps" here. Just love that never ends, never fails, and that will always cover a multitude of wrongs. I may not be perfect, but I am forgiven. Amen!

So grab a cup of coffee - I am partial to Wolfgang Puck's Jamaica Me Crazy myself, and take some time out for You!  I hope you enjoy your visit.

1 John 4:7
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God, and knows God.

John 16:33
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

What Matters Most

Contact Me:  chris_les_botchar@sympatico dot com